Key Takeaways:
- Greece has refused to enforce the EU's new Entry/Exit System (EES) this summer, straining Schengen unity.
- British travelers face five-hour queues at airports like Malaga due to EES checks.
- UK Transport Secretary Heidi Alexander is criticized for inaction, while Brussels faces pressure to scrap the system.
Greek Rebelion Against Brussels Bureaucracy
If you find yourself stuck in a five-hour queue at Malaga airport this summer, you know exactly who to blame. The first is Apostolos Tzitzikostas, Europe's transport commissioner—a name that gives sign-language interpreters tennis elbow. The other is easier to say: Heidi Alexander, the UK Transport Secretary.
But here's the twist: the Greeks have simply refused to operate the EES this summer. That must have been awkward for Commissioner Tzitzikostas, who, as you might guess, is Greek. This defiance has thrown the system into chaos and exposed the political divisions within the Schengen area.
A Lively Response That Never Came
A truly energetic Transport Secretary would be teasing the Europeans for their technical incompetence and political disunity. She would have seized on the annoyance in Paris, Rome, and Lisbon. Imagine a speech praising Athens for ignoring its own dingbat transport commissioner, or grabbing a bouzouki to encourage British families to holiday in Greece instead of EES-imposing tourist traps.
That would do more for Anglo-Hellenic relations than sending back the Elgin Marbles. In no time, Brussels bureaucrats would feel pressured to scrap their stupid EES.
But low-wattage Heidi Alexander, more interested in 20mph speed limits and electric cars, has done none of this. She just brushes the flies off her rump and chews another mouthful of dry thistle.
The Language of Indifference
At Transport Questions yesterday, Alexander delegated EES discussion to underling Keir Mather, who looks about 14 and likely hasn't bought his first razor. When asked about discussions with Cabinet colleagues, young Mather squeaked a non-answer about "easements" and "adjustments" to manage "flows."
"Easements, adjustments, flows, appropriately managed—this is the language of an official caste that couldn't give a monkey's."
Sir Roger Gale, the Conservative MP, harrumphed about "ridiculous" EES checks. Baby Mather responded that funding had been provided to "prepare for any disruption." Sir Roger scowled like a man whose dentist just offered him a suppository.
And Alexander? She listened without apparent interest. Queues at holiday airports? Nah. Let someone else take it up with Spivvy Tzitzikostas in September, when the schools are back and the weather has broken.
What This Means for Travelers
- Long queues at European airports are likely to continue as EES checks remain controversial.
- Greece offers a potential escape route for British travelers seeking less bureaucratic holidays.
- Political pressure on Brussels is growing, but change may not come until the tourist season ends.
The future of the EES hangs in the balance. For now, pack patience—and maybe a bouzouki.